You think you got it bad.
All night, soot in the chimneys, stinky smelly socks, mad as hell dogs, shot at, mistaken for a bird, sleighing all night in a snow storm, damn near got hit by a plane, the Mrs. Pissed cause I got in late.
I am so sick of cookies and milk I could vomit.
My prostate is giving me shit, pissed my pants and froze to the seat.
HO HO HO MY ASS……
Lucky for you, all you have to do is click on the link below for a great stocking stuffer.
G-Gasm Method – 10 or 20 BIG O’s per session – No Problem
Free Love Coupons
Aries: Spend an evening with some Body Oils … rub each other until you haven’t missed a inch. Then lie on top and move your body across their glistening skin … a memorable experience, one you will never forget. Fight fatigue during the holiday season – roll with the punches.
Taurus: Christmas is a few weeks away … get together the sexy vibrating panties and other stuff you want to give your lover. Make plans to be alone at least for a couple of hours to enjoy each other. Get it while you can … you know how you like it – sometimes soft and easy – sometimes loud and rough.
Gemini: Spend a nice quiet evening home … prepare a nice dinner, then for dessert don’t forget to stock up on the Whipped Cream and Body Pudding . Squirt it on your most sensitive areas …… blow on it until it gets hard … then enjoy.
Cancer: Buy a box of body paint for Lovers. Spread a sheet on the floor, strip off your clothes and start painting your live canvas. Let your creativity soar as you paint each other head to toe, front and back. Afterwards, admire your handiwork. Then make love and shower together … or shower together then make love. Whichever turns you on. Keep climbing the ladder … you get the attention you need.
Leo: Be a seductress. . .in garterbelt, stockings, and high-heeled shoes! Show off your Sexy lingerie and forget the panties. You wont need them. Move around the room for your lover, to excite him visually. Touch yourself and offer him the scent of your love juices. Let the passion build slowly to the point of no return. The complements flow … you are invincible and HOT.
Virgo: Plan a surprise getaway weekend for just the two of you … if nothing else, stay in town at a motel. Try some online porn with your honey. Overcome your fear, and try some new positions. Do some role playing.
Libra: This is your week! Go for it! Buy him a Vibrating cock ring The one on his wish list. He has always said no to you, will finally say yes. Wow , this is great … I love it! No more nagging, you get what you desire. A special someone is hard for you … enjoy!
Sporpio: Get ready for a variety of experiences. You and your lover are going to do it in places you thought you never would. Youre really going to enjoy some Edible Undies . The image of a boat, rocking up and down gently on waves, reminds you of your lover. The picture gets very clear … you know what is happening. Take some timeout from the hectic holiday shopping.
Saggitarius: It wont be love at first sight … take your time, go out on that second or third date before you decide. Soon the moonlit beach, a poem, a passionate kiss and you will fall in love. Follow through when needed. A lover will shower with you and shower you with attention and a cool toy - Clit Kisser
Capricorn: How was last week? Ill bet things were a little hot and heavy … With the holidays around the corner, find a little quiet time with you Honey Bun … enjoy, and relax. Disconnect from trouble – your patience helps you keep your cool.
Aquarius: Moon in your sign highlights sex appeal … take advantage of the situation by dressing for the occasion. Accent your attributes … if you have a nice butt, show it off. Someone is messing with you by giving you the worlds largest vibrating dildo .
Pisces: Experience is the best teacher … learn from the best and be the best. You will meet an older lover who will teach you the ropes, not only about love and sex, but life. A handy tidbit makes your life easier. Build a strong foundation – the rest will grow accordingly. Some Bondage Fantasy will spice up your sagging love life – remember variety – keep it fresh.
Hope you enjoyed this month’s edition … please recommend us to a friend
