In love, it’s the little things that count. A gift, an off-hand compliment, holding hands, a thank you, physical contact can massively strengthen your relationship.

Next month, Bonnie and I have been married 20 years. Recently the two of us were talking about things that we do that divorced or separated couple inadvertently did not do.

1. “I Love You”
Three small words that change your relationship. Actions speak louder than words – say it and act it. Speak from your heart to your partner.

2. Hold Hands and Put Your Arms Around Each Other
Physical contact gives your lover a warm fuzzy feeling and shows the love and affection you feel for them. The littlest touch can be as important, as a long night of sexual intimacy.

3. Say Thank You. Show appreciation for your partner
Let your lover know on a regular basis what it is that you like most about them — what you appreciate, what makes you happy, and what their strengths are.

4. Share Your Thoughts
Tell them your likes and dislikes, dreams, anxieties, achievements and errors, or anything else to yourself. It’s important to you, share it!

5. Be there
Be there and listen to the little things such as a bad day at work, a rough commute, or a misplaced item.

6. Give Little Gifts
Take advantage of opportunities to give material tokens of your love. Just the right magazine picked up at the bookstore, a special food, a piece of jewelry or clothing you noticed — anything small that tells them you were thinking of them.

7. React politely to your lover’s demands and shortcomings
A big killer of romance is great expectations. We all have our range of human failures and weaknesses. Learn to see and appreciate your partner’s idiosyncrasies for what they are—a part of them.

8. Make “Alone Time”
Too many couples give up on going out on a date after they get married. GO OUT ON A DATE ONCE A WEEK. I don’t care what is is — a movie, dinner or going for a walk in the park. Just do it.

9. Never Take Your Lover For Granted
Cultivate a sense of gratitude for your lover and the thousands of small blessings he or she has brought into your life.

10. Equality
The Golden Rule in your relationship: do unto your partner as you would have done unto you. Try hard to divide up household jobs and care of the kids — better yet, strive to do more than your fair share.

*I saved the best for last … enjoy great sex together.

Bonnie & Jani

http://BonniesGang.com